Anxiety Overview: Understanding and Calming the Emotional Brain
By Dr. Douglas Cowan, Psy.D.
Marriage and Family Therapist
In this introduction to our anxiety series, we’ll explore how the human brain responds to stress—and how you can use both your body and your thoughts to calm your mind. The key player in all of this? The amygdala—a tiny part of your brain with a powerful influence on fear, stress, and emotional memory.
Meet the Amygdala: Your Brain’s Alarm System
The amygdala is the part of the brain that processes fear and anxiety. It constantly scans for danger and decides whether you should fight, flee, or freeze. From an evolutionary perspective, it kept our ancestors safe—and it still protects us today.
One of my favorite lines is: “We are the descendants of scared people.” In other words, the cautious ones survived. Their amygdala was working overtime, and ours is too.
But in modern life, where dangers are more emotional than physical, that same part of the brain can sometimes overreact. That’s where we come in—with tools to teach it when it’s safe to relax.
Bottom-Up Tools: Calm the Body to Calm the Brain
One way to calm the amygdala is by using the body—what we call ‘bottom-up interventions.’ These include:
- – Breathing exercises
- – Physical relaxation or grounding techniques
- – EFT tapping (a proven way to activate the parasympathetic nervous system)
These approaches send signals from the body to the brain saying: ‘You’re safe now. You can calm down.’ And that’s exactly what the amygdala needs to hear.
Top-Down Strategies: Using Thought to Reassure the Brain
We also use ‘top-down’ tools—cognitive strategies that start in the thinking brain (the cortex) and talk to the emotional brain. These include:
- – Reframing thoughts
- – Positive self-talk
- – Mindfulness and awareness
As parents, teachers, and caregivers, these strategies are incredibly valuable—not just for ourselves, but to pass on to the next generation.
The Amygdala Doesn’t Speak English
This is key: your amygdala doesn’t understand logic or reason. It speaks the language of emotion, memory, and imagination. You can’t lecture it into calming down—but you can soothe it through feelings and safe experiences.
That’s why visualization, comforting routines, familiar voices, and even storytelling are so effective. They bypass logic and speak directly to the emotional center of the brain.
A Message of Reassurance
A friend once told me that the one thing she wished her parents had said more often growing up was this: “Don’t sweat the small stuff. Everything is going to be okay.” It’s such a simple message, and yet so many children (and adults) never hear it.
So let’s be the first generation to pass that on: to ourselves, our kids, our partners, and our communities. Let’s breathe deeply, use the tools we’ve learned, and speak to our amygdala in a way it understands.
It’s going to be okay.
*This article is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. Please consult a licensed professional if you’re struggling with anxiety.*